mission statement

We worked on these a few months ago and then let them marinate. I would like to share our family's mission statement with you. I thought it was a good thing to do since we are not religious. I wanted to have written down what we value. I am sure we will refine this as time goes on, but for now this is it.

we believe in spending time with our family and helping our family financially if needed.

we believe some friends are like family.

we believe in helping the less fortunate.

we believe in not commuting.

we believe in living debt free, even if we aren't there yet.

we believe in small living.

we believe in taking all of our vacation days.

we believe life is short and working is a means to an end.

we believe in honesty.

we believe promises matter.

we believe in love.

pie town

retirement in america

I worked on retirement issues for a few years and this paragraph, from the New York Times, by Teresa Ghilarducci explains the reality that we currently live in with respect to retirement:

"Not yet convinced that failure is baked into the voluntary, self-directed, commercially run retirement plans system? Consider what would have to happen for it to work for you. First, figure out when you and your spouse will be laid off or be too sick to work. Second, figure out when you will die. Third, understand that you need to save 7 percent of every dollar you earn. (Didn’t start doing that when you were 25 and you are 55 now? Just save 30 percent of every dollar.) Fourth, earn at least 3 percent above inflation on your investments, every year. (Easy. Just find the best funds for the lowest price and have them optimally allocated.) Fifth, do not withdraw any funds when you lose your job, have a health problem, get divorced, buy a house or send a kid to college. Sixth, time your retirement account withdrawals so the last cent is spent the day you die."

My friends in Europe will not understand why we have this problem...

facebook

I lost a friend. Not lost in the sense that I misplaced her. We just aren’t friends anymore. There was an event, but that doesn’t really matter anymore. What matters is that person is gone from my life.

But she isn’t.

I collect people. Once we are friends, I stay in contact. I may move or you may move, but I am good at making sure I am still in contact. And I was good at this even before facebook.

But with facebook, instead of my no longer having contact with this lost friend, I see what is going on her life. I can monitor her. Does she monitor my life?

Cleaning out my desk space today I ran across a container of black sand from New Zealand. Years ago, I gave some of this special sand to my lost friend. Does she still have that bit of sand? Why do I still have the sand? I think it is cool, and it reminds me of my trip to New Zealand. And of my lost friend. Without facebook I would only think of her when I saw the sand, not whenever she posted on facebook.

Unfriending this friend would seem too harsh. I like seeing what is going on in her life.

But what do I want to spend my time thinking about? Real friends now, or old friends from the past?

And that is the problem I have with facebook. It is sucking up time that I could spend doing other things. It has become my TV. We don’t watch TV because of this. I can’t seem to decide to only sometimes check facebook, so I am now going to delete my account.

I will miss the pictures of my nieces and nephews. I will miss seeing my friends from time to time. But really, I want to have intentional interactions. Not what I have now, which is unfulling and a waste of time.

Please email me if you want to stay in touch.

**UPDATE** A good friend called and said I did not need to get off of facebook, I just needed to manage my use better...DONE. We will see how that goes.

flyfishing movie

My brother is involved with this kickstarter campaign to help raise money for this movie about cancer and fly fishing. Please consider donating.

Kickstarter campaign page here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/travisswartz/fish-on-stories-from-a-reel-recovery-retreat

cool stuff

the "other" blog

I started working on another blog with a few other guys. You can check it out here: http://bureauphile.wordpress.com/.

fun!!!

thoughts on writing

"But reports can give you tunnel vision, trapping you on the middle rungs of the abstraction ladder and crippling your ability to tell a good story."

pg. 58, Story Craft, by Jack Hart

Stories are told either by using summaries of what has happened or by putting the story into scene. There are areas in between the two however. And if you are in this gray area, you are not telling a good story. Try to move towards either end.

The good writer must "show and tell."

Part of my new work is reading a book about the craft of writing each week. I liked what Hart had to say about these things.

vituary: jordan r.

My good friend, Jordan, just graduate from college. I can’t fathom that the little girl who needed help doing her homework is an adult.

But what a wonderful adult she has turned into. She is into birds. What is fun about her interest is that it has been 1. lifelong, and 2. it has given a structure to her life thus far which has allowed her to explore all kinds of other things through the lens of her love of birds. She has traveled all over the world to see birds and spent countless hours with her family in search of birds. She used birds as a vehicle to complete her Girl Scout Gold Award project. She has worked to preserve the habitat of birds and to use science to figure out why some birds are struggling.

She is gracious and fun to be around. In the last few years we have not spent as much time together as we did when she was little. But I have followed her growth into an engaged young adult who promises to do great things with her time here.

Congrats Jordan. May the world keep producing great people like you.

(Hat tip to Pam Rutter Photography for the picture.)

eating animals

by jonathan safran foer

I declined to read this book when it first came out because I knew it would make me more inclined to be a vegetarian. Since we already crossed that bridge, I read the book.

The book is his exploitation of the topic of food, precipitated by the birth of his son. For years he flirted with vegetarianism, but realized he needed to decide, firmly and finally. As a friend wrote to JSF after the birth of his son, "Everything is possible again." Yes, having a child allows you to reconsider all aspects of your life, in light of your acting as a guide to a new human as they grow and learn.

Suffice to say, as many have said before JSF is an amazing writer. His 10,000 hours are in the hopper. He has mastered the sentence. And the well thought out format of the book urges the reader onward, even if you are not sure you want to read what is coming next.

Of note:
"Animal agriculture makes a 40% GREATER contribution to global warming than ALL transportation in the world combined; it is the number one cause of climate change."

So now that you know that, what does it mean? How can you change your behavior? How hard will it be? How hard will you try? Does my behavior matter?

We are vegetarians but had planned to eat meat every so often. More plant based eaters than strict veggies. So I had a steak the other night. It was my last steak. I sounded like an episode of Portlandia asking about the meat's origins, and whether the animals were happy. But I know the answer. They weren't.

I have never eaten fish, but apparently no fish meets a demise that anyone can consider humane. And they have feelings, which was interesting.

* Thanksgiving used to be a day of fasting. pg. 259.
* Hitler was most likely NOT a vegetarian. notes to pg. 260.

Read the book. Consider your actions.

super busy weekend

i am behind on calls: marika and melissa i think of calling daily...at the wrong time.

we had the mommies from my mommy group over on friday night for drinks on the deck. a lovely time was had.

saturday morning we cleaned for nicole, bob, and bear and brandon's visit. pictures HERE and HERE. they got here and we had indian take out, again on our deck.

then sunday morning we had brunch with the sullivans. then headed to target to stock up on some cute stuff they have this week. then brandon came back for some more oskar time. then we went to bed. i thought the weekend was over.

but no. monday the chaos continued. marcus came over to have me do a sewing job and at 1:30 I realized that the cleaning lady was coming at 2. i needed to do the pre-clean...and thank goodness she was coming, because carol, aka grandma, arrived that night. whew.

i need a vacation: la on thursday here i come.

nyer and clayton christensen

The NYer printed this exact statement: "After that day, his faith grew steadily stronger, and God granted him special powers. He healed the sick. He spoke in tongues." The article is a profile of Clayton Christensen, who coined the phrase disruptive technology. My query: how did the NYer fact check this statement?

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/05/14/120514fa_fact_macfarquhar

oskar's 8 months old

See pictures here...

john cusak interview

Jada Yuna stated in her profile in New York Magazine of John Cusak:

"Why waste time feeling conflicted about good fortune?"

I want to work on this.

when there are writers

as good as Roger Ebert out there, it makes it hard to try to write yourself.

On death:
"That is what death means. We exist in the minds of other people, in thousands of memory clusters, and one by one those clusters fade and disappear. Some years from now, at a funeral with a slide show, only one person will be able to say who we were. Then no one will know."

Read the whole essay by clicking this sentence.

and on a sad note

(photo by jamie bosworth)

Our good family friend, Don Ronayne died on Monday. While he had some health problems, things seemed to be on the up. I had just spoken to him a week ago Monday.

Here is his obituary:

Donald Anthony Ronayne of Kent Island, Maryland, passed away peacefully on Monday April 9, 2012 with Carol holding his hand and his nephew and niece Jim and Morgan Ronayne of Annapolis, MD at his side. He was 69.

Mr. Ronayne was born in New York. He graduated with honors from Yale University, studied at Sorbonne University in Paris, France, and received his Juris Doctor from Stanford University. He was a trial lawyer who opened his first practice in California. He also practiced in Idaho, Hawaii, New Jersey, and Maryland.

Mr. Ronayne was an avid sports enthusiast and spent many years as an athlete and coach. He was a passionate environmentalist and pro bono attorney who generously contributed his time, resources, and professional services to the causes he championed and his community.

He was a kind and devoted husband, son, brother, uncle, and friend. He is survived by his loving wife, Carol Fordonski, and sister, Judith Ronayne of Garden City, NY. He was loved by scores of nephews, nieces, in-laws and friends. He will be missed by many.

Per his wishes, all services will be private. Memorial contributions may be made to Chesapeake Cats and Dogs, 300A Island Professional Park, Stevensville, MD 21666. http://www.chesapeakecatsanddogs.org

Funeral arrangements by Fellows, Helfenbein & Newnan Funeral Home, P. A. in Chester, MD. For online condolences, please visit www.fhnfuneralhome.com.

now this is fun

Caine's Arcade from Nirvan Mullick on Vimeo.

real food.

my favorite baby products

i am so behind on posting it is not even funny. i have stuff to say, but i am just not together enough yet to say it.

in the mean time i put together a shopping list of my favorite baby products...

http://amzn.com/lm/R38JCZWKKKPLI9

and yes, laura, i see what you are saying about the ipt. but i think we are creating expectations really...he can expect to get a pottytunity when his diaper is changed or when he wakes up...and i think he is holding it sometimes...but time will tell. at least he will be used to being on the potty.

ipt

ipt: infant potty training

we are doing it folks. it sounded batshit crazy when i first heard about it in the nytimes a few years ago. (see article here.) in fact, i made no end of fun of it.

that said, it is great. the little guy goes peepee in his little toilet about 4 times a day and he has pooped a total of 4 times in the potty. he seems to really like it. anytime he wakes up or he has a diaper change he gets a "pottytunity." carol is even on board, so that is nice. we are teaching him the sign for potty too...we have noticed a reduction in diaper usage as well. (we use gdiapers with cloth or disposable inserts.)

i got this book and this book about how to do it.

even our critical friend dave thinks it is a good idea.

back to work soon

so, i have not blogged in so long. strange.

back to work next Monday. can you believe it? well i can't. brent's mom, carol, is here to watch oskar the month of february as we transition. that is great news. he is growing so much.

i will only be working from 8:30 to 2:30 and then picking him up...not much time apart really. i am still kind of a mess about it, which surprised me at first.

brent would never do this

but I would.

The Perennial Plate Episode 84: Dumpster Diver from Daniel Klein on Vimeo.

so much waste. fail.

time is flying

ok, so I am hard at work on that book of mine. things are moving right along. I found an editor to read it for me...my deadline is tomorrow.

oskar's 4 month checkup is tuesday.

i read a great book not out yet called UnOrthodox...it is by a woman who left her hasidic community. love books like this. wow, am I glad I am not hasidic.

also read a great book about cooking: The Kitchen Counter Cooking School.

more soon.

mini book review: sister

sister
by rosamund lupton

this book came across my radar when highlighted by one of our great independent bookstores in DC: politics and prose. i borrowed the book instead of buying it, which will not keep them in business, unfortunately.

however, the recommendation was great. Sister is a crimi set in London. the main character's sister has gone missing while pregnant. interestingly, the book is written as a letter to the woman's sister.

great quick read under the covers. highly recommended.