I lost a friend. Not lost in the sense that I misplaced her. We just aren’t friends anymore. There was an event, but that doesn’t really matter anymore. What matters is that person is gone from my life.

But she isn’t.

I collect people. Once we are friends, I stay in contact. I may move or you may move, but I am good at making sure I am still in contact. And I was good at this even before facebook.

But with facebook, instead of my no longer having contact with this lost friend, I see what is going on her life. I can monitor her. Does she monitor my life?

Cleaning out my desk space today I ran across a container of black sand from New Zealand. Years ago, I gave some of this special sand to my lost friend. Does she still have that bit of sand? Why do I still have the sand? I think it is cool, and it reminds me of my trip to New Zealand. And of my lost friend. Without facebook I would only think of her when I saw the sand, not whenever she posted on facebook.

Unfriending this friend would seem too harsh. I like seeing what is going on in her life.

But what do I want to spend my time thinking about? Real friends now, or old friends from the past?

And that is the problem I have with facebook. It is sucking up time that I could spend doing other things. It has become my TV. We don’t watch TV because of this. I can’t seem to decide to only sometimes check facebook, so I am now going to delete my account.

I will miss the pictures of my nieces and nephews. I will miss seeing my friends from time to time. But really, I want to have intentional interactions. Not what I have now, which is unfulling and a waste of time.

Please email me if you want to stay in touch.

**UPDATE** A good friend called and said I did not need to get off of facebook, I just needed to manage my use better...DONE. We will see how that goes.

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